Sign up Forgot Password? I helped the kids make presentations about their places of origin, including Mexico, Guatemala, and Honduras. Rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper, and paper beats rock. Accomplishment Essay: Discuss an accomplishment, college application essay examples, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. While I chased down answers to questions college application essay examples limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. I procure an ordinary plastic grocery bag from my backpack.
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Need to write a college application essay? Check out these resources and sample essays — designed to help you write a successful application essay. Edited by Randall S. Hansen, Ph, college application essay examples. Learn how to write a successful college application essay using the three-step process for writing your personal college admissions essay. College application essay examples entrance to just about any college or university continues to get harder as more and more applicants are applying for a limited number of spaces. How can you improve your chances to being admitted to the college or university of your choice? By writing a stellar personal essay as part of your college admissions application. It may be only words — or sometimes only words — but the admissions essay s portion of a college application can mean the difference between acceptance and rejection.
How you write your personal essay shows the admissions committee why college application essay examples are different from other applicants. It provides information about you that test scores, grades, and extracurricular pursuits just cannot. You can use the essay to describe a favorite activity, to tell a story about yourself, or even a story about your dog, but make sure to really use it — in a way that captures the readers attention and shows that you are exceptional. Video advice: Writing a strong college admissions essay Watch this video on YouTube. College admissions experts offer tips on selecting a topic as well as writing and editing the essay.
Unlike test scores and transcripts, the college admissions essay offers students a chance to showcase their personality. Prospective college students want their essay, sometimes called a personal statement, to make a good impression and boost their chances of being accepted, but they have only several hundred words to make that happen. This can feel like a lot of pressure. Admissions officers have to read an unbelievable number of college essays, most of which are forgettable. Many students try to sound smart rather than sounding like themselves.
It may sound like a chore, and it will certainly take a substantial amount of work, college application essay examples. Admissions committees put the most weight on your high school grades and your test scores. However, selective colleges receive applications from many worthy students with similar scores and grades—too many to admit. So they use your essay, along with your letters of recommendation and extracurricular activitiesto find out what sets you apart from the other talented candidates, college application essay examples.
Check out these outstanding college essay examples. Learn how to write your personal statement and supplemental essays for college applications. One college application essay examples the best ways to write a successful college essay for your college application is by learning from real college essay examples that worked. Need help writing your college essay? Click here for my ultimate guide, college application essay examples. Or, check out my complete guide for answering the most popular college application essay examples essay prompts on the Common App. though these are all great essays regardless of where or if students were admitted to their top choice school. Looking for more college admissions essay examples about yourself? Check out more personal statements here, college application essay examples.
Behold, some of the best college essays of in my humble opinion. College essay examples from students accepted to Harvard University, Stanford University, and other elite schools. College essay example 9 — Note: Some personally identifying details have been changed. College essay example 1This is a college essay that worked for Harvard University. Under the mentorship of Professor Wendy Bozeman and Professor Georgia Lebedev from the department of Biological Sciences, my goal this summer was to research the effects of cobalt iron oxide cored CoFe2O3 titanium dioxide TiO2 nanoparticles as a scaffold for drug delivery, specifically in the delivery of a compound known as curcumin, a flavonoid known for its anti-inflammatory effects.
As a high school student trying to find a research opportunity, it was very difficult to find a place that was willing to take me in, but after many months of trying, I sought the help of my high school biology teacher, who used his resources to help me obtain a position in the program. The ceremony centres on the circumcision of pubescent males and females; often performed with a sharp rock and no anesthetic. It is a rite of passage for the Maasai. My stomach is a tight knot, picturing the children we met today and imagining the painful procedure they will soon undergo. The other students, excited about the feast and intricate costumes, hope that accepting the invitation will strengthen our bond with the community.
A comprehensive guide to writing and conquering the college admissions essay. Pro-tip: remember to be true to yourself. Think of each school as a persona and how would a prospective student befriend them. What interests do they have in common? Now think about how to incorporate that into the college essay. Most college applications include a supplemental essay that offers the opportunity to understand each applicant college application essay examples a college application essay examples qualitative level, college application essay examples. Colleges include the application process because the admissions board knows that applicants are more than just a GPA, extracurriculars, and test scores. These essays give applicants the chance to showcase their thinking process, resilience, and communication skills.
Here we help guide you on how to write the perfect college admission essay. When college application essay examples for college, every aspect of your college application is important. However, a strong college admission essay is one of the most important elements of the application. Not only does this essay allow you to showcase your personality and other qualities you can bring to the school, but it is one of the final pieces of information that can influence admissions decisions. While many other students will have similar GPAs to yours, or maybe even nearly identical transcripts or the same extracurricular activities as you have, the reality is that no one will have an essay like yours.
But beyond helping you get in to school, a well-written college admission essay can help college application essay examples get offered scholarships, grants and other financial aid that you may not have expected. Read selected examples of essays that worked, as nominated by our admissions committee. The essays are an important part your application. From his position, what direction does he see you? In that moment, I realized that perspective and precision of language is everything. To me, journalism modernizes the ancient power of storytelling, filled with imperfect characters college application essay examples intricate conflicts to which I am the narrator. Starting each newspaper edition with a socratic, round-table discussion, I ask the other journalists to pursue stories that answer the questions: why did this happen and where will it lead?
You writing should show, not tell, through vivid language. As with all things related to your college application, you will need to start drafting your application essay far ahead of the due date. The reason that you need so much time to work on your essay is primarily because many schools will ask you to write about similar topics, but to do so in different ways. You will need enough time to draft essays that address each of these questions or prompts for each school to which you college application essay examples applying. Video advice: 7 GREAT College Essay Tips to Help You Stand Out Watch this video on YouTube.
There was a problem loading your book clubs. Please try again. He recommends a variety of strong essay topics, college application essay examples, and includes excerpts from successful application essays as well as several full-length sample essays from recent students. Each essay comes with a critique that discusses its strengths or indicates missteps. Here is important instruction and advice for all college applicants, and a solid general guide to good writing. You already know how to write an academic essay. Now forget all that, college application essay examples, because learning how to write the college application essay examples application essay is totally different.
Search Thousands Of Colleges And Scholarships. Join Our Growing Community Of College Bound Students. Be yourself. Bring college application essay examples new college application essay examples the table, not just what you think they want to hear. Use humor if appropriate. Your college application essay needs to breathe life into your application, college application essay examples. It should capture your genuine personality, explaining who you are beyond a series of grades, test scores, and after-school activities, college application essay examples. Take a minute and think about the college or university admission officers who will be reading your essay.
How will your essay convey your background and what makes you unique? If you had the opportunity to stand in front of an admission committee to share a significant story or important information about yourself, what would you say? The college application essay is your chance to share your personality, goals, influences, challenges, triumphs, life college application essay examples, or lessons learned. These are the stories behind the list of activities and leadership roles on your application. When comparing students with similar scores and extracurriculars, a good essay can lift an application to the top of the pile. These tips will help you write a college essay that stands out in a good way.
So be sure to proofread your essay several times and ask for an extra set of eyes or two before hitting send. Colleges are interested in seeing a full picture of each applicant, and the essay is a real opportunity for students to let their personalities shine. When comparing students with similar scores and extracurricular involvement, a compelling essay can lift an application to the top of the pile. How to Write A College Essay — Wondering how to write a college essay that will get you into the school of your dreams? Read on and learn more! Jacob Imm is a communications specialist in the North Central College Office of Marketing and Communications. He has 10 years of collegiate communications experience and has worked with hundreds of college students, college application essay examples.
The Common App essay can make or break your college application. Learn about the Common App essay prompts and get tips for writing a stand-out statement. Instead of analyzing a piece of literature or a historical event, you must showcase your identity. As such, the words you use should sound like they actually come from you — not a thesaurus or an English teacher.
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Today, she had with her a large stuffed eagle from a museum. As she pulled out her papers, I slid the eagle to the other side of the table. She looked eagerly around, attempting to chat with other students as I impatiently called her attention to her papers. I cringed—there was no wondering why Natalie always had to sit by herself. She was the antithesis of my academic values, and undoubtedly the greatest adversary of my teaching style. As the lesson progressed, Natalie became more fitful; she refused to release her feathered friend, and kept addressing the bird for help with difficult problems. We both grew increasingly more frustrated. Determined to tame this wryly, wiggling student, I stood my ground, set on converting this disobedient child to my calm, measured ways of study.
Much like myself. Both the eagle and I were getting nowhere in this lesson—so we hatched a quick plan. Lifting the eagle up in the air, I started reading in my best impersonation of an eagle, squawking my way through a spelling packet. The result provided a sense of instant gratification I never knew I needed. Despite my ostensibly dissatisfied attitude toward my students, I did not join the tutoring center simply to earn money. I had always aspired to help others achieve their fullest potential. As a young adult, I felt that it was time for me to step out of the role of a pupil and into the influential role of a teacher, naively believing that I had the maturity and skill to adapt to any situation and help these students reach their highest achievements academically.
For the most part, the role of a stern-faced, strict instructor helped me get by in the workplace, and while my students never truly looked happy, I felt that it was part of the process of conditioning a child to learn. Ironically, my transition to adulthood was the result of a stuffed animal. It was indisputable that I always had the skill to instruct others; the only thing needed to instruct someone is knowledge of the subject. However, it was only upon being introduced to a stuffed bird in which I realized that students receive the most help not from instructors, but teachers. While almost anyone can learn material and spit it back out for someone, it takes the maturity and passion of a teacher not only to help students improve in their students, but also to motivate them and develop them into better citizens.
From my young pupil and her little bird, I have undergone a change in attitude which reflects a growth in maturity and ability to improve the lives of others that I hope to implement in my future role as a student, activist, and physician. In this essay, the student effectively explores their values and how they learned them! then identifies these values through a reflective conclusion. While the writer humbly recognizes the initial faults in their teaching style, they do not position their initial discipline or rigidity as mean or poorly intentioned—simply ineffective. My favorite part about this essay is its subtlety. The complexity of this narrative comes through reflection.
The final sentence of this essay ties things up very nicely. Readers are left satisfied with the essay and convinced that its writer is a kind human with a large capacity for reflection and consideration. That is a great image to paint of yourself! My family has always been one to keep to themselves; introverts with a hard-working mentality—my father especially. He was stoic and traditional; I was trying to figure out who I was and explore my interests. His disapproval of the American music I listened to and my penchant for wearing hand-me-downs made me see him as someone who wanted to restrain my individuality. That explains why I relied heavily on my friends throughout middle and high school; they liked me for who I was. I figured I would get lonely without my friends during quarantine, but these last few months stuck at home gave me the time to make a new friend: my father.
It was June. One morning, however, it was not the chirping of birds or the laughter of children I awoke to, but the shrill of a saw. Through the window screen, on the grass below, my father stood cutting planks of wood. It was not until the next day, when I was attempting to work on a sculpture for an art class, that the sounds of hammering and drills became too much to ignore. Seeking answers, I trudged across my backyard towards the corner he was in. On that day, all there was to see was the foundation of what he was building; a shed. My intrigue was replaced with awe; I was impressed by the precision of his craft.
Sharp corners, leveled and sturdy, I could imagine what it would look like when the walls were up and the inside filled with the tools he had spread around the yard. Throughout the week, when I was trying to finish my sculpture for art class—thinking about its shape and composition—I could not help but think of my father. Art has always been a creative outlet for me, an opportunity to express myself at home. For my dad, his craftsmanship was his art. I realized we were not as different as I had thought; he was an artist like me. My glue and paper were his wood and nails. That summer, I tried to spend more time with my dad than I have in all my 18 years of life. Our reunion has changed my perspective; instead of vilifying him for spending so much time at work, I can appreciate how hard he works to provide for our family.
When I hear him tinkering away at another home project, I can smile and look forward to asking him about it later. This is an outstanding example of the great things that can be articulated through a reflective essay. As we read the essay, we are simply thinking alongside its author—thinking about their past relationship with their father, about their time in quarantine, about aspects of themselves they think could use attention and growth. By centering us in real-time, the student keeps us engaged in the reflection. The main strength here is the maturity we see on the part of its writer.
She steamed small buns in bamboo baskets, and a light sweetness lingered in the air. Although the mantou looked delicious, their papery, flat taste was always an unpleasant surprise. My grandmother scolded me for failing to finish even one, and when I complained about the lack of flavor she would simply say that I would find it as I grew older. How did my adult relatives seem to enjoy this Taiwanese culinary delight while I found it so plain? During my journey to discover the essence of mantou, I began to see myself the same way I saw the steamed bun. I believed that my writing would never evolve beyond a hobby and that my quiet nature crippled my ambitions.
Ultimately, I thought I had little to offer the world. In middle school, it was easy for me to hide behind the large personalities of my friends, blending into the background and keeping my thoughts company. Although writing had become my emotional outlet, no matter how well I wrote essays, poetry, or fiction, I could not stand out in a sea of talented students. When I finally gained the confidence to submit my poetry to literary journals but was promptly rejected, I stepped back from my work to begin reading from Whitman to Dickinson, Li-Young Lee to Ocean Vuong. It was then that I realized I had been holding back a crucial ingredient—my distinct voice.
Over time, my taste buds began to mature, as did I. After I ate the mantou with each of these factors in mind, I noticed its environment enhanced a delicately woven strand of sweetness beneath the taste of side dishes: the sugar I had often watched my grandmother sift into the flour. The taste was nearly untraceable, but once I grasped it I could truly begin to cherish mantou. As I acquired a taste for mantou, I also began to strengthen my voice through my surrounding environment. With the support of my parents, peer poets, and the guidance of Amy Tan and the Brontё sisters, I worked tirelessly to uncover my voice: a subtle strand of sweetness. Once I stopped trying to fit into a publishing material mold and infused my uninhibited passion for my Taiwanese heritage into my writing, my poem was published in a literary journal.
I wrote about the blatant racism Asians endured during coronavirus, and the editor of Skipping Stones Magazine was touched by both my poem and my heartfelt letter. I opened up about being ridiculed for bringing Asian food to school at Youth Leadership Forum, providing support to younger Asian-American students who reached out with the relief of finding someone they could relate to. I embraced writing as a way to convey my struggle with cultural identity. Now, I write and speak unapologetically, falling in love with a voice that I never knew I had. It inspires passion within my communities and imparts tenacity to Asian-American youth, rooting itself deeply into everything I write. Today, my grandmother would say that I have finally unearthed the taste of mantou as I savor every bite with a newfound appreciation.
I can imagine her hands shaping the dough that has become my voice, and I am eager to share it with the world. Additionally, as they describe the journey to find a voice in their writing, they definitely show off their voice! The clear introduction provides a great image and draws us in with an intriguing question. When the student describes their first published poem, however, their writing gets a little more stilted. This is a common error students make when writing about their achievements. This would make the essay feel more cohesive, centering entirely around concepts of voice and style.
What factors shape the depth and allure of a literary character? This is the exact question I asked myself as my eyes riveted on the white pages covered with little black letters. I was reading my old novels. Each of them repetitively portrayed the hero as intelligent and funny, and the antagonists as cold and manipulative. I came to the appalling realization that my characters were flat, neither exciting nor original. In his famous work The Picture of Dorian Gray , Wilde deconstructs the psyche of his characters. The persona of Dorian Gray is so complicated a psychologist could analyze it for hours on end! Inspired by this character, It was my turn to explore good and evil into characters to make my stories more enthralling.
I skillfully played with vice and virtue, separating, merging them… My latest novel is the fruit of this exercise. I chose to set it in 20th century London. Insanity, religion, depravity and love are merged into each character, reflecting Edwardian London. As I reflected on my work, I realized vice and virtue altogether made them more human and credible. These characters stood out, they were interesting, I even wanted to know more about them! After rewriting, erasing, typing, and thinking countless times, I realized writing is a unique exercise.
Nothing is definite when you are holding a fountain pen, hearing its screeching sound on the white paper and watching the ebony ink forming letters. Everything I imagined could happen: white pages are the only place the mouse eats the cat or the world is taken by a zombie attack! This exact exercise of diversifying my characters satisfied my relentless curiosity. As I was writing, I was aiming to change the usual narratives I had previously traversed. I loved experimenting with countless personality traits in my characters — minutes flowing, my hand dancing on the paper as my mind was singing words coming alive…. There were times where my hand just stopped writing and my mind stopped raging. I was inspired by Zola, A. Carter, Fitzgerald, the Brontë sisters… I could observe the different reactions of their characters, and reflect on mine theoretically.
But it was only part one of the work: I then had to write, sometimes aimlessly, sometimes frantically, always leading to fresh ideas — I was exploring the practical, trying, erasing and rewriting. Both theory and practice are required to gain intellectual independence and experience, in writing and more globally: before I can change a character, I have to understand it. Before we can change the world, we have to understand it. The main strength of this essay is the authenticity of the topic the student chose. Writing is something that captivates them, and that captivation shines through—particularly through their fourth paragraph where they geek out over specific plots and characters and their fifth paragraph where they joyfully describe how writing has no limitations.
Admissions officers want to see this passion and intensity in applicants! The fact that this student has already written three novels also shows dedication and is impressive. The main weakness of this essay is its structure. Ironically, it is not super captivating. image of them being frustrated with their own writing then being inspired by Dorian Gray. This would look something like:. The only thing more painful than seeing failure in the fruits of your labor is not seeing a path for improvement. I had written three novels and numerous short stories, and all I could come up with was funny and intelligent heroes going up against cold and manipulative villains.
What kind of writer was so consistently cliche? On the third night, I wandered over to my bookshelf. Dalloway caught my eye it has such a beautiful cover. I flipped through. I picked up The Picture of Dorian Gray and decided to just start reading. By the end of the night, I was captivated. An introduction like this would flow nicely into the student describing their experience with Dorian Gray then, because of that experience, describing how they have altered their approach to writing. This essay is a great example of how important it is to pick a topic that truly excites you. It also illustrates how important it is to effectively structure that excitement. It distinctly reminded me of the awestruck feeling I had when I witnessed the churning waves of a windy night by the ocean the previous weekend; I lost track of time gazing at the distant moonlit border dividing our world from the ever-growing black void.
She explained to me I could never reach the end of the ocean because the harsh line I had seen was actually an illusion called the horizon — there was no material end to the ocean. For a mind as young as mine was, the idea of infinity was incomprehensible. This idea is why the ocean captivates me — no matter how much you discover, there is always more to explore. Prior to viewing that episode, I relied on the ocean as an outlet — I fueled all of my emotions into studying marine organisms. Once I learned of its grave future, I delved into the world of environmental activism.
This path was much more disheartening than studying echolocation — inevitable death due to climate change took a toll on my mental health. I attended two climate strikes in November of my sophomore year. Following the strikes, I joined Sunrise Movement Sacramento, a youth-led climate justice organization advocating for the Green New Deal. While analyzing legislation and organizing protests were significant takeaways from my experience with climate activism, they were not the most important. The more I learned about our modern society, the more hopeless I grew that I could see any significant change within my lifetime.
However, this hopelessness comes in waves; every day, I remind myself of the moment I discovered the horizon. Or the moment I first dove into the beautiful waters of the Hawaiian coast and immediately was surrounded by breathtaking seas of magnificent creatures and coral gardens — life felt ethereal and beautiful. I remind myself that like the ocean, the vast majority of the universe has yet to be discovered; that distant border holds infinite opportunity to learn. In a universe as vast as ours, and life as rare as ours, individuals still choose to prioritize avarice over our planet.
Despite this grave individualism, the ocean reminds me every day there is hope in the fight for a better world. Finding the ocean fascinating is not unique to this student. Tons of kids and adults, too! are obsessed with the ocean. What this student does is take things a step further as they explain their curiosity about the ocean in relation to their pain about the destruction of the environment. This capacity for reflection is great! The main weakness of this essay is the lack of reflection when the student discusses environmental activism. Remember, a lot of students write about environmental activism, but not a lot of students write about an emotional connection to the ocean as an impetus for environmental activism.
Scalding hot water cascades over me, crashing to the ground in a familiar, soothing rhythm. Steam rises to the ceiling as dried sweat and soap suds swirl down the drain. The water hisses as it hits my skin, far above the safe temperature for a shower. The pressure is perfect on my tired muscles, easing the aches and bruises from a rough bout of sparring and the tension from a long, stressful day. The noise from my overactive mind dies away, fading into music, lyrics floating through my head. Black streaks stripe the inside of my left arm, remnants of the penned reminders of homework, money owed and forms due.
As long as the hot water is running, the rest of the world ceases to exist, shrinking to me, myself and I. The shower curtain closes me off from the hectic world spinning around me. In the midst of a hot shower, there is no impending exam to study for, no newspaper deadline to meet, no paycheck to deposit. It is simply complete and utter peace, a safe haven. The steam clears my mind even as it clouds my mirror. Creativity thrives in the tub, breathing life into tales of dragons and warrior princesses that evolve only in my head, never making their way to paper but appeasing the childlike dreamer and wannabe author in me all the same.
That one calculus problem that has seemed unsolvable since second period clicks into place as I realize the obvious solution. The perfect concluding sentence to my literary analysis essay writes itself causing me to abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirely. Ever since I was old enough to start taking showers unaided, I began hogging all the hot water in the house, a source of great frustration to my parents. I imagine someday, when paying the water bill is in my hands, my showers will be shorter, but today is not that day nor, hopefully, will the next four years be that day. Headaches magically disappear as long as the water runs, though they typically return in full force afterward.
The runny nose and itchy eyes courtesy of summertime allergies recede. Showers alleviate even the stomachache from a guacamole-induced lack of self-control. Honestly though, the best part about a hot shower is neither its medicinal abilities nor its blissful temporary isolation or even the heavenly warmth seeped deep into my bones. The best part is that these little moments of pure, uninhibited contentedness are a daily occurrence. No matter how stressful the day, showers ensure I always have something to look forward to. They are small moments, true, but important nonetheless, because it is the little things in life that matter; the big moments are too rare, too fleeting to make anyone truly happy.
Wherever I am in the world, whatever fate chooses to throw at me, I know I can always find my peace at the end of the day behind the shower curtain. This essay is relatable yet personal! The writer makes themself supremely human through discussing the universal subject of showering. That being said, an essay about showering could easily turn boring while still being relatable. And, at the end, the student lets us know that that is exactly why they love showers. Showers are more than meets the eye! The one major error that this writer commits is that of using a trite transition. Steam whooshed from the pot as I unveiled my newest creation: duck-peppercorn-chestnut dumplings.
The spicy, hearty aroma swirled into the kitchen, mingling with the smell of fresh dough. Grinning, I grabbed a plump dumpling with chopsticks, blew carefully, and fed it into the waiting mouth of my little sister. Her eyes widening, she vigorously nodded and held up five stubby fingers. I did a little happy dance in celebration and pulled my notebook out of my apron pocket. Duck-peppercorn-chestnut: five stars. In my household, dumplings are a far cry from the classic pork and cabbage. Our menu boasts everything from the savory lamb-bamboo shoot-watercress to the sweet and crispy apple-cinnamon-date.
A few years ago, my sister claimed she was sick of eating the same flavors over and over. Refusing to let her disavow our family staple, I took her complaint as a challenge to make the tastiest and most unconventional dumplings to satisfy her. With her as my taste tester and Mum in charge of dough, I spent months experimenting with dozens of odd ingredient combinations. I am the product of three distinct worlds: the suburbs of Boston, the rural Chinese village of [location removed], and the coastal city of [location removed]. At school, I am both the STEM nerd with lightning-fast mental math and the artistic plant mom obsessed with funky earrings. I love all that is elegant, from Chinese calligraphy to the rolling notes of the Gourd flute, yet I can be very not elegant, like when my sister and I make homemade slime.
Elegant and messy. Nerdy and artistic. Suburban, rustic, and metropolitan. Just as barbeque pork and pineapple can combine beautifully in a dumpling wrapper, different facets of my identity also converge. After my tenth-grade summer, when I spent six weeks studying design at art school and another three researching the brain at Harvard Med, I began asking myself: What if I mixed art and neuroscience together? And how can neuroscience help museums design exhibits that maximize visitor engagement? I combed through studies with results from tightly controlled experiments, and I spent days gathering my own qualitative data by observing museum visitors and asking them questions.
I learned to instead seek the intersections between aspects of my identity. Since then, I have mixed art with activism to voice my opinions nonverbally, created Spotify playlists with both Chinese and western pop, and written flute compositions using music theory and math. In the future, by continuing to combine my interests, I want to find my niche in the world. I can make a positive impact on society without having to choose just one passion. As of now, my dream is to be a neuroscientist who designs art therapy treatments for mental health patients.
Who knows though? Maybe my calling is to be a dim sum chef who teaches pottery on the side. This essay is outstanding because the student seems likable and authentic. They additionally show the importance of family, culture, and creativity in their life—these are great things to highlight in your essay! After the introduction, the student uses their weird dumpling anecdote to transition to a discussion of their unique intersections. They just know what kind of a person they are—a passionate one! The student mentions STEM, music, family activities, activism, and painting, which makes it feel like a distraction in middle of the essay.
I glanced behind me hopefully, only to see my students standing frozen like statues, the fear in their eyes as clear as the ice they swayed on. My first day as a Learn-to-Skate coach was not going as planned. But amid my frustration, I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater. At seven, I had been fascinated by Olympic performers who executed thrilling high jumps and dizzying spins with apparent ease, and I dreamed to one day do the same. Nonetheless, my coach remained unfailingly optimistic, motivating me through my worst spills and teaching me to find opportunities in failures. I remember the day a frustrated staff member directed Oliver, a particularly hesitant young skater, toward me, hoping that my patience and steady encouragement might help him improve.
I soon found though, that this only increased his fear of gliding on his own, so I changed my approach, making lessons as exciting as possible in hopes that he would catch the skating bug and take off. Together we celebrated this milestone, his ecstasy fueling my excitement and his pride mirroring my own. At that moment, I was both teacher and student, his progress instilling in me the importance of patience and a positive attitude. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. These questions are regularly updated or revised, so it is best to check the current questions yourself.
Three example admissions essays from Carleton Students. The University of Chicago is known for its strange and oddball approach to supplementary questions. Here is a collection of thoughtful answers to these questions. These applications are answers to former prompts from both the Common Application and the Universal Application as John Hopkins accepts both. Smith College gives its applicants a prompt for a words essay. Tufts asks applicants to answer three short essay questions in addition to the Common Application essays. Two of these questions are mandatory and the other one is selected from a list of prompt questions. Here is the writing supplement list for the class of If the school you are applying to is not listed above, do not despair.
Check their website and see if they have published any admission essays for you to read through and analyze. How to Analyze Admission Essays to Help Your Personal Statement. This section will examine two essays from the examples that were collected above so we can pull them apart and investigate the criteria that make for a great college application essay. We'll dissect each case and examine what makes these essays tick. We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site.
The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van. Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back. More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. I actually succeeded in springing it. My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally.
My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. Clear a hole! Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night. But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power.
Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt. Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me. Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose.
You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence. This has everything we talked about earlier, in the Hook Section. It describes a scene — he is standing next to a car, and he is about to break in, it has a hint of danger and drama — he is making a transgression — and then there is cliffhanger too — how will it turn out, will he get caught? Stephen uses extremely detailed language to build up a visual scene that really makes this experience come to life. We can smell the BBQ. These details aid us in imaging the emotions of the people in the scene.
Stephen also captures the tone of a teenager in the dialogue he has written. It grounds the piece in reality and makes it so easy to picture and visualize in your mind. Stephen demonstrates his inventiveness and resourcefulness in two ways here. Firstly, in a practical way — his resourcefulness has resulted in him unlocking the car door. In this playful way, he is changing the situation from the narrow story to the broader deeper aspects. The insight he has gained from it. His personal growth. The humor relaxes the reader and actually draws them closer to the essay writer while providing details about the author's life. Another thing to take notice of is that this type of humor and phrasing is kept to a minimum in the statement, and is only used around topics where the reader could feel discomfort to relax them.
The moderate amount of humor helps keep the prose meaningful and serious rather than flippant. Stephen ends his essay by reflecting on how his life has prepared him to deal with the future. Stephen connects his past experience to his current maturity through self-knowledge. All great personal essays contain this key element. Maturity and awareness of your own behavior is something that all colleges desire in their applicants. They indicate that a student will be able to adapt to the independence that is required in college classes, will be responsible for their own lives and actions. No piece of writing is ever perfect. Most writers would be happy revising pieces of writing for the rest of their life if there was a deadline they had to meet.
So, what would you have done differently with this essay? What would you change to give it that little extra piece of oomph? These block phrases work against this and dampen the author's unique voice to just one among the crowd. This can make your writing tired and predictable if used in large amounts. The essay demonstrates how Stephen is adaptable to the situation and that he is not afraid to use his inventiveness to adapt to and thrive in difficult situations. This is a great example, and very well used. Stephen also makes several claims later in his essay that he did substantiate through examples. Remember to make abstract claims concrete, so the reader knows exactly what you mean.
An Untitled Tufts University Admission Essay by Bridget Collins. After a long day in first grade, I used to fall asleep to the engine purring in my mother's Honda Odyssey, even though it was only a 5-minute drive home. As I grew, and graduated into the shotgun seat, it became natural and enjoyable to look out the window. Seeing my world passing by through that smudged glass, I would daydream what I could do with it. In elementary school, I already knew my career path: I was going to be Emperor of the World. While I sat in the car and watched the miles pass by, I developed the plan for my empire. I reasoned that, for the world to run smoothly, it would have to look presentable.
I would assign people, aptly named Fixer-Uppers, to fix everything that needed fixing. That old man down the street with chipping paint on his house would have a fresh coat in no time. The boy who accidentally tossed his Frisbee onto the roof of the school would get it back. The big pothole on Elm Street that my mother managed to hit every single day on the way to school would be filled-in. It made perfect sense! All the people that didn't have a job could be Fixer-Uppers. I was like a ten-year-old FDR. After a quick glance at the left side of the board, I slapped my hand on my head as I suddenly realized what my chess coach was telling me. My queen was sitting unused, positioned all the way on the other side of the board, and I had no idea.
If you begin to look at the whole chessboard, then these puzzles will become a breeze for you. Ever since that chess lesson, those words have stuck. Indeed, my chess skills improved swiftly as my rating flew over the Elo threshold in a matter of months. However, those words did not merely pertain to chess. Looking at the whole picture became a foundational skill that I have utilized throughout my life in school and other endeavors. I particularly remember making use of it on the soccer field. Weighing in at a monstrous pounds and standing 5 foot 8 inches, my opponents made it a habit to tackle me to the ground. Once again, I found myself face to face with the defender, and before I knew it, I crumbled to the ground, left isolated and dispossessed.
Laying dazed on the pitch, my mind flashed back to the chessboard. It occurred to me that soccer, much like chess, relies on the proper position of the many pieces that combine to create a finished strategy. The intelligence and creativity needed in a playmaker is also an essential part of a well-rounded soccer team. I realized that my most significant advantage would always be my in-depth understanding of the game of soccer—where to pass the ball, when to make a run, if the ball should be in the air or driven. I picked myself off the ground, and when that same defender came barreling towards me again, I was zoned in, oblivious to the noise around me. I chipped the ball into the open space right behind him, knowing my teammate would run into the space without even looking.
From then on, I continued to hone my skills through intense practice to become the best playmaker I could be, working in conjunction with my faster and stronger teammates to become a well-balanced, unified team. Through chess and soccer, I have discovered that every piece in a puzzle has a purpose. This new perspective has enhanced my ability to stop, stand back, and analyze the whole picture in the many dimensions of my life. In my scientific studies, it was not enough to examine just one C. reinhardtii cell, but it was necessary to zoom out the microscope to capture all of the thousand cells to truly understand quorum sensing and its consequences. All these facets—music, research, soccer, chess—are not only completed puzzles but also parts of a greater whole: my life.
Every aspect of myself matters as much as the other. As high school comes to an end, the pieces on my board are set, and I only have success in mind. The reader is also able to see that Dante can apply what he learns in one subject to another, which is essential to succeeding academically at Hopkins. Maybe driving on a highway or in a parking lot, left and right is precise enough to describe the location and movements of slow-moving bikers, pedestrians, and cars. But at 36, feet in the air in a steel tube hurdling almost miles an hour? During one of my first flights in a small Cessna, my flight instructor ordered me to scan the horizon for approaching aircrafts.
From his position, what direction does he see you? In that moment, I realized that perspective and precision of language is everything. Through flying, I began to consider all points of view, regardless of my personal perspective. Perhaps it was my ability to scan the horizon to communicate a single story, uniting contrasting outlooks, that drew me to my love for journalism and the diverse melting pot that was my community. To me, journalism modernizes the ancient power of storytelling, filled with imperfect characters and intricate conflicts to which I am the narrator.
Starting each newspaper edition with a socratic, round-table discussion, I ask the other journalists to pursue stories that answer the questions: why did this happen and where will it lead? Expanding beyond the perspectives of my classmates, I began writing articles for the Korea Daily, and later, the Los Angeles Times High School Insider. I schedule interviews with city council candidates, young and old voters, and mayors of my town, obtaining quotes and anecdotes to weave into my writing. My interviews with both Democratic and Republican voters have taught me to thoroughly report polarizing-opposite opinions through an unbiased lens. As a journalist, I realized I cannot presume the opinions of the reader, but instead simply provide them with the tools necessary to formulate their own conclusions.
However, differences in perspective in my articles are not solely limited to politics. I found that in my suburban community, people love to read about the small-town hospitality of their own friends and neighbors. I discovered the size of my story does not matter, but the impact I leave on the reader does. In my time as both a student pilot and journalist, I grew to love these stories, the ones that showed me that living life with blinders, can not only be boring, but dangerous. Whether I was 36, feet in the air or on ground level, by flying and writing, I realized that the most interesting stories of life come straight from the people most different from me.
Stella begins this essay by discussing her experience learning to fly. This anecdote, however, is less about the act itself as it is what the experience taught her in regards to perspective and points of view. As she shares more information about her approach and impact with journalism, she makes it clear that those lessons from flying are ever-present in her work. This essay is able to add to the whole application by sharing with us some new passions and expanding on some of her impact, but its main focus is how she was able to apply lessons from one experience to other aspects of her life. This is not something I often admit willingly; in fact, it is quite baffling to me how horribly incapable I am at performing even the most basic movements on command.
Eventually, my display proves to be so amazingly unbearable that I am removed from the floor and shown the correct movements over and over again until I am able to replicate them well enough to come back. It is through looking back at these events that I realize that I have created a mischaracterization of my dancing abilities through my decisive first sentence. I can dance and am, in fact, very capable of doing so, but not when I act insularly. My ability to dance correlates directly with how willing I am to collaborate, the input and support of others turning the uncoordinated and unwieldy into the near-graceful.
My attempts at dancing have led me to value community and collaboration greatly, and I find myself seeking and being drawn towards environments that will allow me to continue to develop both of these values as I learn and grow. Through my internship with the Johns Hopkins Applied Physics Lab, I was exposed to and became fascinated by the collaborative spirit that lies at the heart of Johns Hopkins. From the research initiatives that breach the boundaries between class levels, to the many organizations such as the Tutorial Project, relying on the shared initiatives of different students to directly make an impact on Baltimore and its many communities, and the distinctive access to especially interdisciplinary topics such as neuromorphic systems, I view that Johns Hopkins exemplifies the peak of collaborative achievement in education.
First, he loves to participate. Despite his insistence that he cannot dance, we see him dancing throughout his essay. Second, he realizes that he can in fact dance, but needs to work with others to bring out the best in himself, and in the group. And third, he then is able to connect this to his future. He recognizes that in order to reach his potential, he wants to be at a place where he can collaborate with peers who can challenge him to be even better. Mail only correspondence N. Charles St. Contact your Admissions Counselor Email a Current Student.
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